Once a month I go to a networking event called The Inspired Group.  Usually, it’s a great excuse to meet up with friends, enjoy a great meal and maybe a glass of wine or two if I can persuade Jason to drive.  Often I learn something useful from the speaker sharing his or her experiences.  Sometimes I’m moved by their story.  Occasionally, what they say inspires me.  Never before have I been struck dumb. 

Last week I attended the Inspired Group event and heard Marcus Orlovsky share his story.  He talked of making and losing great fortunes, mentioning figures in their billions with casual aplomb.  He talked of daring to dream.  He talked of success and failure and challenged the view that academic success is the only kind of success there is. 

In short, his talk turned my views upside down. 

One of my earliest memories is from when I was 5 years old at primary school and getting gold stars for getting all my spellings right.  I still have those little pieces of paper with my five-year old’s handwriting and those gold stars stuck firmly in place. 

I have always been academically minded and passing exams means a lot to me.  At 18 I got 3 As in my A-levels.  At 21 I sat and passed the Diploma de Espanol como Lengua Extranjera – the Spanish as a Foreign Language Diploma.  I took the highest possible level, by the way.  When I studied for my HR qualification, I was one of only two people in my group to get Distinctions.  Success to me means top grades and doing well in my chosen subjects. 

In contrast, I have only ever failed my driving test.  Three times to be exact, passing on the fourth due to some serious support and back up from Jason and some sessions of hypnotherapy.  In my view of the world, failure is not an option.  Failure means the end of the world as I know it. 

I judge myself to have failed in other areas too.  I have always believed that I failed at teaching on my year out from university.  Talking to Jason on the way home from the Inspired Group, it dawned on me just how unrealistic my expectations had been.  I was 21, I had never taught before.  I was comparing myself to the best teacher in the school who had a knack of inspiring his students.  I was working in a rough school in a rough area where students would shout at me in the street and tell me to “go home foreigner”. 

I have been beating myself up for years over my perceived failure to be a good teacher.  Now I think I should celebrate my success as a survivor.  I didn’t go home.  I didn’t give up.  I made friends with several of my students, two of whom are still my friends to this day.    

In my world, success and failure have always been clearly delineated. I’m from the school of thought that says it’s better not to try than to try and fail.  At least if you don't try, you'll never have to deal with being a failure.  You'll stick with what you know and what you're good at. 

So, Marcus not only challenged my beliefs about what makes a person successful but he took them and shook them upside down, giving them a good kicking in the process.  I’m still figuring out what to think and do next.  I can say without a doubt that my views will not emerge unscathed.